Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

Nathan takes flight

Nathan leaves for college tomorrow. He’ll be settling in at Parsons at the New School in New York City, beginning his college career as a...

Aug 18, 20222 min read

Delaney brought me back a coaster from the trip she and Jack took with their dad. It reads: inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit....

Aug 13, 20223 min read

On a window ledge in our kitchen is a collection of rocks. It started with one, then I noticed another, and suddenly they covered half...

Jul 16, 20223 min read

I spent the morning of July 4th in Oslo, at the Munch Museum. After several hours, as we were preparing to leave, Delaney reminded me...

Jul 9, 20224 min read

I thought I was ok. I really did, maybe in part because I had been so crabby / bitchy in the immediate wake of our news. My bounce was...

Jul 3, 20225 min read

As the world opens back up, I’m getting chances to meet more and more new people. Which means many more conversations where I find myself...

Jun 1, 20223 min read

Energy follows intent, my therapist has told me on more than one occasion. If the past few weeks are any indication, I’m finding that to...

May 19, 20223 min read

I had the most amazing day today—but for a few minutes, it looked like it was about to take a bad turn. I was standing outside the office...

Apr 22, 20224 min read

I can't sleep. I know it must be scanxiety, because I leave for New York this morning. But I’m not thinking about scans as I toss and...

Mar 29, 20224 min read

It’s Black Friday Eve, and I’m looking—and looking, and looking—at jewelry. This is odd for me: not the Black Friday prep, which has long...

Nov 28, 20213 min read

Well we finally heard back, and the picture is a little clearer, but still a bit murky. My scan results were posted on my portal—first...

Jun 19, 20213 min read

I had some foreshadowing that my last scan at MSK might not be completely clean. Not so much that I was expecting bad news, but enough...

Apr 8, 20214 min read