Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

Steroids Star Save

It’s been so fun to be on the receiving end of celebratory texts - most of which ask how I am, besides being elated. And I am happy -...

A little bad news

We got a little bad news yesterday. Gina has a small tumor in her liver. It’s right on the edge of where they did the radiation...

Not the news we wanted

It wasn't the news we were hoping to get, and we're pretty sad tonight. We’re trying to remind ourselves that it could have been worse:...

Scanxiety

We are in New York, awaiting scans tomorrow morning. Just a few days ago, we were in Hawaii: eating poke, letting the waves crash over...

A call for your stars

Delaney asked me not to kiss her tonight. She explained that my face was too scratchy. Between the dryness and the Vectibix-driven facial...

New tools versus doom

I keep buying memoirs. Reading the story of others with cancer. I relate to them fully; they make me laugh in recognition—and cry, tears...

Chemo during Covid

“I heard back from Dr Kemeny. She agrees that the lesions in the liver are new activity and that you should start treatment.” “Ok,” I...

It’s back

The two words that I’d least hoped to post here. At least, certainly not so soon—we were just starting to get used to the idea of Gina...

The maxi-pad on my chest, and other cancer indignities

We’re home! But wow has this surgery (and its recovery) kicked my ass. Nothing is easy. I get winded walking to the bathroom. If I’m...

Surprise! Time for a taqueria meltdown

I got my quesadilla today. But it came at a cost. I figured I would be fine to walk 0.2 miles to lunch. That’s only a few blocks, and we...

The year anniversary of my first chemo

Hard to believe I had my first chemo treatment one year ago today—back when I had lots of hair, clear skin, no real sense of what this...

Shouldn't I feel happier?

The number of “how are you doing” texts I’ve gotten in the past few days suggests I’m overdue for an update. I don’t love updating when...

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