Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

Oct 29, 20233 min read

Five lessons over five years

Even after years spent in the intensity of agency New Business, I’ve never experienced a sense of urgency quite like the one I felt when...

Aug 13, 20223 min read

Warrior vs Withdraw

Delaney brought me back a coaster from the trip she and Jack took with their dad. It reads: inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit....

Jun 24, 20224 min read

Optimistic AF

I’ve never been much of a Fuck Cancer type – but almost four years in, I can certainly say I understand the urge better now than I did...

Apr 22, 20224 min read

A master class in fear

I had the most amazing day today—but for a few minutes, it looked like it was about to take a bad turn. I was standing outside the office...

Mar 29, 20224 min read

Fear, lifting

I can't sleep. I know it must be scanxiety, because I leave for New York this morning. But I’m not thinking about scans as I toss and...

Apr 8, 20214 min read

The gift of uncertainty

I had some foreshadowing that my last scan at MSK might not be completely clean. Not so much that I was expecting bad news, but enough...

Jan 30, 20212 min read

Delaney’s gift

Hair—or losing it—seems to be a quintessential part of the cancer journey. Mine thinned quite a bit, but for the most part I was able to...

Sep 25, 20202 min read

From ego-driven to soul-drawn

Wow. It’s been too long since I’ve done an update, but I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I let the two year anniversary of my...

Sep 10, 20193 min read

Accidental advocates

I was back at MSK yesterday for chemo #18. My liver enzymes are creeping up, but Dr Kemeny watches them carefully, and I was relieved...

Sep 3, 20193 min read

The earliest signs

I’m quickly approaching the one year anniversary of my diagnosis, and with all the annual events that mark the start of the school year,...

Jun 4, 20193 min read

A turning point in my journey

A few weeks ago, I walked into my therapy session and spent approximately 56 minutes talking about nothing important. On minute 57, I...

Feb 21, 20192 min read

The power of interdependence

One of the mantras I adopted shortly after I started treatment was related to my decision to keep working: On my good days, I'll give...