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In pursuit of “all clear”

At dinner last night, Per and I tried to temper our expectations about what kind of news we could expect today.

Because radiation’s impact can continue for weeks/months after it is complete, we knew the best we could probably realistically hope for was a “looks like it is working” report as opposed to an all clear.

And that’s in fact exactly what we heard today.

Dr Kemeny told us that the scan results were “good,” and while we haven’t yet seen the radiologist’s report, she’s direct enough for us to know things are going as she had hoped. There is still something there, but smaller, and what’s there might be evidence of cancer dying. She could suggest doing some treatment, but she “knows how I would feel about that” so suggested instead that I rescan in two months. We will do that right after we enjoy spring break with the kids.

That I’m not feeling totally elated is evidence that deep down I still harbored some secret “all clear” hope—I guess after all this, proof that I still leave room for miracles!

But as time goes on, I’m seeing steady progress as its own kind of miracle—while staying hopeful that the worst is behind us and the best yet to come.

Thanks to everyone for all the support and good vibes; I feel it all more than ever. : )

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