Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

The bell I didn’t ring (and why)

I had an appointment at Northwestern yesterday—for a return check-up and a refill of my pump—and I walked in with a bounce in my step....

Feb 2, 20214 min read

Hair—or losing it—seems to be a quintessential part of the cancer journey. Mine thinned quite a bit, but for the most part I was able to...

Jan 30, 20212 min read

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, I don’t know quite what to tell them. The side effects are getting worse and worse. I...

Dec 11, 20203 min read

Wow. It’s been too long since I’ve done an update, but I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I let the two year anniversary of my...

Sep 25, 20202 min read

On my way out of chemo today, a woman on the elevator was semi-alarmed to see me enter with my external chemo pump and my mask. To...

Jul 7, 20201 min read

I keep buying memoirs. Reading the story of others with cancer. I relate to them fully; they make me laugh in recognition—and cry, tears...

Jun 21, 20202 min read

Hi there! Checking in toward the back part of my first cycle back with a mostly positive report. It was weird to be going back into...

Apr 25, 20203 min read

“I heard back from Dr Kemeny. She agrees that the lesions in the liver are new activity and that you should start treatment.” “Ok,” I...

Apr 12, 20203 min read

“The world is currently experiencing what it’s like to be a cancer patient,” begins the meme. It’s not inaccurate: Try to stay healthy....

Mar 19, 20203 min read

For years now, I’ve enjoyed the tradition of an end of year mileage run. In part because when you travel regularly, it’s nice to have...

Jan 1, 20202 min read

It’s been a while since my last update - partially due to the holidays (which were great!) but also due to the fact that not much has...

Dec 28, 20192 min read

“How are you feeling?” People ask tentatively, as they drop off food, run into us on a walk, send a quick text. “I would like to say much...

Dec 2, 20193 min read