Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

The cancer roller coaster

It’s been a hard week, full of ups and downs. With no chemo since December, Gina’s been feeling really good. Her CEA stayed low in...

The bell I didn’t ring (and why)

I had an appointment at Northwestern yesterday—for a return check-up and a refill of my pump—and I walked in with a bounce in my step....

Delaney’s gift

Hair—or losing it—seems to be a quintessential part of the cancer journey. Mine thinned quite a bit, but for the most part I was able to...

A chemo break for Christmas

This is the face of a girl who just officially got a Chemo Break for Christmas!! We got back from New York late last night, after a...

So far, so stable

So far, so good. I beat the snow to MSK today, and found out that my CT scan was stable, the third good scan in a row. Dr Kemeny thought...

En route to scans

After a couple days of testing and scanning—and eleven months without being able to see them in person—Gina and I are on our way over to...

Feeling worse and worse, but also better

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, I don’t know quite what to tell them. The side effects are getting worse and worse. I...

A clean scan for a bad ass

This week has been a little harried—I had to do a scan on Monday morning, then learned late Tuesday night that they hadn’t done it...

A call for your stars

Delaney asked me not to kiss her tonight. She explained that my face was too scratchy. Between the dryness and the Vectibix-driven facial...

From ego-driven to soul-drawn

Wow. It’s been too long since I’ve done an update, but I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I let the two year anniversary of my...

Two years in

“My hope is to keep you alive for one to two years.” When Gina was first diagnosed, we met with the leading oncologist specializing in...

Cumulative impact vs the Calorie Calvary

I’ve mentioned to a few people that my weight is plummeting (or maybe it’s just that my neck looks extra thin on Zoom), and wow—people...