Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

Fear, lifting

I can't sleep. I know it must be scanxiety, because I leave for New York this morning. But I’m not thinking about scans as I toss and...

In pursuit of “all clear”

At dinner last night, Per and I tried to temper our expectations about what kind of news we could expect today. Because radiation’s...

Healthy and done in 2021 (almost)!

“Healthy and Done in 2021” was an excellent goal, but Covid snuck in just under the wire, with four cases in our household thus...

Not all that sparkles is stars

It’s Black Friday Eve, and I’m looking—and looking, and looking—at jewelry. This is odd for me: not the Black Friday prep, which has long...

More treatment ahead

It’s always more fun (and faster) to share good news than less-good news. Last week, Gina’s scans picked up a recurrence in the same spot...

A happy message—and a crazy idea

The MRI results came Monday night, after we had already given up on them: we were in bed, and Per was half asleep. “Looks good!” was the...

My future will find me

Well we finally heard back, and the picture is a little clearer, but still a bit murky. My scan results were posted on my portal—first...

More chemo ahead

A brief update: Gina's Interventional Radiologist and Oncologist got to talking, and decided that it would be better for Gina to do a...

Pizza on chemo eve

It’s chemo eve! We made pizza, and I did a good job calorie loading in anticipation of what’s ahead of me. I’m not looking forward to...

Not the news we wanted

It wasn't the news we were hoping to get, and we're pretty sad tonight. We’re trying to remind ourselves that it could have been worse:...

Scanxiety

We are in New York, awaiting scans tomorrow morning. Just a few days ago, we were in Hawaii: eating poke, letting the waves crash over...

The gift of uncertainty

I had some foreshadowing that my last scan at MSK might not be completely clean. Not so much that I was expecting bad news, but enough...